Hi Alaia-Mai, Klay etc.
We’ve got a lot more in common than you might think. No, I don’t have famous parents and I’m fairly certain I’m not your birth mother. You see I, like you, am shunned by spell check systems around the world thanks to a quirky arranging of letters so I wanted to write to you and share a few of my own ways for negotiating a World where your name can make life tricky.
You won’t find your name on anything cool. As a kid, for whatever reason, I wanted my name on EVERYTHING and yet it never appeared. I had to go to specialist Welsh shops to have any hope of finding so much as a magnet with my name on it. Little tip – never tell anyone this in secondary school, it most definitely IS bully-fodder.
Turn that frown upside down little ones – if your name isn’t on anything you get to be whoever you want! Thanks to my need, even at the age of 26, to want to participate in the Share a Diet Coke with… campaign I’ve been several different people. Last week I was Sam. Next week, who knows. The world is our Oyster.
Doing anything over the phone is going to be a NIGHTMARE. For example as you grow up you might want to prank-call taxi companies*. From what I’ve seen it’s quite the sleepover gag. However when you want taxis as an adult and they think you’re using a fake name so don’t show up it can be pretty frustrating.
Have a taxi name! All the cool kids have one (me) and it guarantees your taxi will arrive on time. Transport bliss.
Dating is tricky at the best of times but with a weird name it’s even more unlikely they’ll remember it the morning after**. It’s hard enough trying shouting a name in a crowded bar/across a dance floor/to a deaf guy without it being a bit obscure too.
Perseverance is all I can offer you here. Because once they do finally click that you’re name is all exotic not only will they fancy you more (actual scientific fact***) they’re more likely to remember you at the very least as girl/guy-with-the-weird-name. Also it’s a great ice-breaker and naturally leads into a longer conversation. Score!
I hope this helps before you get to learn some valuable lessons of your own. In my time I’ve been called a Mr., Harold (on the phone AFTER a long conversation. Man-voice much?!), Anne, Angry Harold (work colleagues who’ve seen my rage first hand) and many more. There will be misspellings, mispronunciations and just damn lazy use of the word ‘Hun’ because they’ve forgotten which celebrity spawn you are.
Take it on the chin, kid. It makes you far more interesting.
Lots of love, Angharad x
Angharad: Welsh name associated with royalty, history and myth. Translates to English as ‘much loved one’.
*ONLY taxi companies. Don’t be wasting valuable 999 time. That shit ain’t funny.
**Sometimes a blessing in disguise. If in doubt revert to taxi name above.
***Not an actual scientific fact. Sorry.
Angharad is a former radio journalist balancing a career in PR with an insatiable writing habit that spans more topics than she can count on her smaller-than-average hands. She's passionate about the media, women's rights and politics with a love of travel, culture, entertainment and all things lifestyle on the side. Interests include prolific online shopping (bit of a reputation in the office), musicals, dinosaurs (be honest, they're awesome) and tweeting anything and everything from @Welsh_PR