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This Week’s Top Five Most Ridiculous Stories from The Daily Mail

1. Feeling emotional? Nicole Scherzinger can’t hold back the tears at X Factor auditions as Lewis Hamilton tries to win her back

Once again, we are presented with another misleading headline from our friends at the Daily Mail. If we see a headline telling us someone ‘can’t hold back the tears’, we expect to see some serious blubbing, but Nicole just looks a bit sad.

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Sure, she’s got a face like a wet weekend, but crying she is not. And when you’re reporting ‘facts’ (we use the term loosely) about Lewis Hamilton trying to win her back, then she’s bound to look a little glum.

 

2. That looks familiar! Britney Spears steps out in her favourite top twice in one week

Hold on to your hats everyone, another breaking story from the Mail. Britney Spears, of teenage pop star and subsequent meltdown fame, DARED to wear the same top on Tuesday that she had worn the previous Monday.

In even more disturbing news, she had worn the same top back in April, taking it up to THREE public outings.

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All this was despite the fact that she ‘may have millions to spend on whatever clothing she wants’. We can just imagine Femail’s (probably Primark-clad) ‘fashion’ team rubbing their hands together with glee when this third outing was confirmed.

 

3. Portrait of a slightly saggy supermodel: Liz Jones deconstructs a Kate Moss snap that’s worth 1,000 airbrushed adverts

You know an article by well-known Daily Mail arsehole Liz Jones that starts with the words ‘At the high-end spa I frequent in London…’ is going to be a doozey.

It’s essentially old Jonesy spouting around 1300 words worth of bile about Kate Moss, slagging her off because the almost 40-year-old mum doesn’t look as taut as she did when she was 16.

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In a world where women complain about men’s magazines making sexual objects of women, why is it for ok for jealous, bitter women to slag off other women simply for growing old?

We can’t help noticing that there are no pictures of Liz Jones anywhere on the article, probably because she would make even a ‘saggy’ and ‘nicotine stained’ Kate Moss look totally slammin’.

4. It’s a twin thing! Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen power dress in matching business outfits and shades as they head out to a meeting

Mary-Kate and Ashley have been spotted walking (or, as the Daily Mail calls it, ‘strutting their stuff’) towards a car ‘wearing matching outifts’.

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Despite the fact that you can only see what one of them is actually wearing, they have apparently chosen ‘matching’ outfits. Essentially, by matching outfits, the DM means the same sunglasses and a pair of black jeans.

Fashionistas or what?!

 

5. PICTURE EXCLUSIVE: Cheer up Kanye West! West look glum as he heads out with Kim and baby North… and can’t resist turning a critical eye to Kardashian’s outfit.

The Daily Mail have used the same grainy images of Kim Kardashian and Kanye West across three different stories, which are all just variations of ‘Kim and Kanye go outside with their new baby’.

They have also claimed that Kanye West was seen ‘turning a critical eye to Kim’s outfit’ here. How could they even know that? We reckon she’s just spilt her cornflakes down her front, and Kanye’s just making sure she got it all off.

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They’re just glad to have Kim back so they can ramp up the number of Kardashian stories on the sidebar of shame.

Quality journalism.

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Iona St Joseph

Written by Iona St Joseph

PR exec who likes finding funnies and cool stuff online. Print journalism graduate.

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