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The terror of terminal Twitter

WHAT a huge relief it is that Twitter is back online. Users were unable to tweet for almost two hours this week. The firm tweeted distraught users that “people are currently experiencing problems accessing Twitter” but many of them couldn’t see the message due to the problem with the site.

Millions of internet users were unable to use the site and were confronted with the image of a broken robot along with a message that said ‘something is technically wrong’.

Now I like to tweet as much as the next man, but I reckon the output in some workplaces across the UK will have doubled during this blip. So many people I know who ‘work’ full-time seem to be able to post something on Facebook or elsewhere all day long, which has no relevance whatsoever to the job they do. It does suggest they have precious little to do.

If bosses became ‘friends’ with some of their workforce they’d be able to see how much company time is wasted by employees writing inane drivel about how their new shoes are hurting or what they’ve got in their sandwiches today.

AS A hardy Northerner I don’t mind a bit of cold weather, but even I have had to admit to feeling a bit parky this last week. I must be going soft in my old age. Further cold weather is forecast, with temperatures threatening to drop to minus 14. But here’s the scary bit – never mind having to take care on treacherous roads – Smartphone users are being warned their batteries could drain faster than normal – or horror-of-horrors, could stop working altogether.

Can you imagine a world today without mobile ‘phones, Facebook and Twitter? Teenagers all over the UK would go into meltdown. They probably still wouldn’t venture out of their stinking bedrooms in case they had to speak to an adult, or make eye contact with someone, but it would be nice to think they had to make their own amusement for a bit.

THERE’S  a funny old story doing the rounds this week about high street restaurant chains serving up ready meals to diners. The likes of Pizza Express and Frankie and Benny’s have been exposed as serving pre-prepared main courses, desserts and even scrambled eggs. You don’t say?

If you expected a dish you ordered at a restaurant to be freshly prepared on site by a chef think again. Channel 4 exposed many of the high street chains, revealing that they are saving time and money by serving pre-prepared meals. The dishes have either been made at centralised kitchens or by outside caterers then delivered to the restaurant sometimes days before. Pizza Express admits its lasagne is shipped in from Italy – which is probably a whole lot better that if it was knocked up here. Presumably it is then microwaved to hell by the work experience kid before it is garnished with a few wilted leaves and served up to you as a soggy boiling blob.

Let’s face it, you eat here if you’re on a budget and have a pile of kids in tow. Who expects anything better? I for one certainly don’t have a problem that Pizza Hut gets ready-made cocktail mixes in cartons and then just adds alcohol. I find you need a few stiffeners if you’re to endure a ‘meal’ in one of those establishments, surrounded by a brat pack.

CHRIS Evans was spotted leaving the BBC this week dressed in some Charlie Brown pyjamas and a pair of moccasin slippers. The Radio 2 presenter, who is busy filming the new series of Top Gear, looked relaxed as he left Broadcasting House. Meanwhile, former Top Gear presenter James May gave his critique of the re-branded new series and called it a ‘ballsy’ move.

James May, Jeremy Clarkson and Richard Hammond – you’ve had your years of acting like lads and being petrol heads. It’s time someone else got into the driving seat and gave it a fresh new look. Now grow up all of you.

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Kevan Blackadder

Written by Kevan Blackadder

Kevan Blackadder is a media consultant who runs Blackadder Media Limited. Kevan was previously editor of the Gloucestershire Echo and assistant editor of the Bristol Post. A Cumbrian who moved to the South West “for a couple of years” in the 1980s, he can’t quite believe he’s been there ever since.

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