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The secret of ‘Spoons

IT WAS officially Blue Monday last week – the most miserable day of the year so far. The credit card bills are rolling in and it’s still a week or so from pay day. What better way to drown your sorrows with a little trip to your local Wetherspoons? Cheap and cheerful – you can’t go wrong. A couple of reasonably priced pints and ham, egg and chips all for under a tenner – what’s not to like?

But there’s one thing you won’t have noticed about Wetherspoons – and it doesn’t come cheap. We’ve all nipped in there for a Curry Club night (every Thursday in case you fancy it) but you’ve probably never taken time to look down and appreciate the carpets. Why would you?

carpet

One bloke from East London is making it his life’s work to find out about Wetherspoons carpets and documenting it on Tumblr. Each and every one of them in their pubs up and down the country is different and, unlike their beer, they are very expensive. According to Jon Randall, the chain’s head of acquisitions and development, all the carpets are uniquely patterned and made from scratch, costing between £20,000 and £30,000 each.

The aforementioned Tumblr man from East London, Kit Caless, who started the blog weatherspoonscarpets, is gradually celebrating all the different styles of the pub chain’s carpets in the UK. Since starting his blog, Kit has been inundated with photos from Wetherspoons regulars up and down the country submitting pictures of their local’s carpet. He reckons he receives the most photos on Tuesday nights, when it’s Steak night.

He said: “Steak Tuesday is when I get the most submissions, showing that the British genuinely like a bit of meat, chips and a pint on Tuesdays more than anyone else in the world. Probably”.

The carpets, which are each individually made, contain more than six colours so have to be partly hand-made on old-fashioned looms by a firm in Axminster. Next time you drop into your local ‘Spoons for a cheap and cheerful pint, make sure you check out the shag pile before you leave.

STAYING with people named Kit – this week Coleen Rooney dropped her latest sprog – an 8lb 1oz boy called Kit Joseph Rooney – a brother to Kai, six, and Klay, two. Wayne took to Instagram to announce the birth of his new son, but he was immediately criticised by internet trolls for naming his three sons with the initials KKK.

I wonder whether Coleen Rooney will be going down the Victoria Beckham route after having three boys on the trot? It is rumoured the Beckham’s paid handsomely in their bid to make sure their fourth child, Harper, was a little girl.

WHETHER or not you can change the course of nature remains to be seen, but someone who’s having a bloody good go at it is that whingeing boob-job scrounger Josie Cunningham. Ms Cunningham gained notoriety by having a £4,800 boob job on the NHS and blames her obsession with plastic surgery on childhood demons. She tearfully claims she had a ‘very bad childhood’ which has affected her decisions.

Which bit of putting your demons behind you includes having an abortion so you could have a £7,000 nose job?

You keep saying ‘I just want to be pretty’. Well, let me tell you this love – any amount of plastic surgery isn’t ever going to change the course of nature. As Winston Churchill once retorted to a woman who accused him of being drunk – ‘I may be drunk miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly’.

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Kevan Blackadder

Written by Kevan Blackadder

Kevan Blackadder is a media consultant who runs Blackadder Media Limited. Kevan was previously editor of the Gloucestershire Echo and assistant editor of the Bristol Post. A Cumbrian who moved to the South West “for a couple of years” in the 1980s, he can’t quite believe he’s been there ever since.

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