DESPITE Europe being on the brink of its first war of the century, there was no denying what the week’s big story has been: a football club sacked its manager. Lest no-one knows what to really think in the media storm following David Moyes’ sacking by Manchester United, Deputy Prime Minister Nick Clegg was on hand to give his thoughts on this seismic event: “I thought they were just going to let him try and make the best of it, and then take on the new signings. Personally I think they should have held onto him.” As Mrs Merton, herself hailing from Manchester of course, might well have asked: what made Clegg think himself well-placed to comment on the plight of a serial loser promoted well above his level of competence?
CLEGG was also in the news after his wife turned up to his work and interrupted a speech he was giving. With her husband encouraging more men to get involved in bringing up their children, Miriam Gonzalez Durantez intervened to criticise “dinosaurs” who left child-rearing all to the mothers, saying, “Being responsible for your children does not affect your level of testosterone … those men who actually treat women as equals are the ones with most cojones.” Clegg immediately replied, “I of course agree with you. I always do.” Which possibly wasn’t the best way of emphasising her point.
NIGEL Farage has defended UKIP’s poster campaign which was launched this week. The scaremongering adverts carry messages like, “26 million people in Europe are looking for work. And whose jobs are they after?” Hmm, good question Nigel. Of course, Mr Farage has a German wife and employs her courtesy of lavish EU expenses. Or what might be otherwise legitimately be referred to as a state handout. Meanwhile, in other unrelated news, it turns out ninety thousand expats headed back to Blighty from Spain in 2013. All those emigrants, coming back over here taking our jobs…
HEADLINE in the Daily Telegraph, Thursday, April 17: “David Cameron puts God back into politics”. Headline in the Daily Telegraph, Thursday, April 24: “Atheists urged to be tolerant”. No suggestion the two are related, as yet.
JUSTICE Minister Chris Grayling came out this week to argue in favour of reforms to legal aid aimed at curbing “so-called judicial reviews, instigated by pressure groups, designed to force the Government to change its mind over properly taken decisions by democratically elected politicians.” To illustrate this point, Grayling cited the recent example of a group which used legal aid to act on behalf of Iraqis who alleged British troops had murdered their countrymen. A public inquiry cost taxpayers £20 million before it emerged there was no evidence to support the claims. “There are now serious questions about the validity of the case that was brought, and about the basis on which legal aid money was secured,” argues Grayling. And he knows of what he speaks in respect of bogus claims about goings-on in Iraq: in 2003 his vote for military action against Saddam contributed to the UK spending over £8.3 billion on an illegal war looking for weapons of mass destruction. Still, he reassures us now, “The rule of law in Britain is vital to us all.”
MORE “political correctness gone mad” issues for UKIP after its European election broadcast featured a good ol’ British builder lambasting cheap European labour. “Since the lads from eastern Europe are prepared to work for a lot less than anybody else, I’ve found it a real struggle,” the very un-British-monikered Andre Lampitt was filmed saying. Unfortunately it transpired that Lampitt has a number of other views which he’d shared with the world on Twitter, including fascinating insights into slavery, Africans, Islam, Muslims and what it is to be British. Nigel Farage subsequently protested his party’s innocence, perhaps regretting the fact he hadn’t got a competent foreigner in to do the job properly, “Something’s gone wrong with our systems, this guy should have been weeded out.” Well, quite – it turns out Lampitt is, in his own words, “born British, in Rhodesia”!