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Scary Monster or Super Creep?

THERE’S no other place to start this week than with David Bowie. I’m a child of the (very early) sixties and am one of those who think that every tribute that has been made to the man has been justified. Some have asked if he really deserved to be the only story of the day on Monday and to have so many standalone programmes dedicated to him. The answer is a definite Yes.

The man’s record sales and iconic taste in fashion have been rightly praised but it was the way he changed with the times and reinvented himself that puts everyone else in the shade. One of my favourite Bowie albums – Scary Monsters (and Super Creeps) – has hardly been mentioned and that says it all.

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And all of it makes the mutterings of his former wife Angie all the more depressing. She hasn’t seen him for 40 years but wept for our sympathy about his passing on Celebrity Big Brother despite slagging him off in a Daily Mail article published the day before. Not sure if she’s more Scary Monster or Super Creep but it was absolutely shocking either way.

Zowie Bowie, aka Duncan Jones, has not seen or been in touch with his estranged mother since he was 13 because of her drug and alcohol abuse while he was a child. He posted something restrained and said he was going offline for a while. Good on him.

WHAT on earth can the Texan beauty that is Jerry Hall see in that wrinkled old megalomaniac Rupert Murdoch? You’d think she’d have her choice of eligible bachelors on the world stage. Not only is she prepared to be seen on his arm, but they’ve now announced they are engaged.

It must be something about power. It’s surely the only way to explain how another “looker”, John Prescott, managed to have an affair with one of his secretaries, Tracey Temple, who was a whole 24 years younger than him. The gap between 84-year-old Murdoch and 59-year-old Hall is a year greater again. What must Mick Jagger be thinking? Despite all their years together, Hall never saw fit to marry him.

If I was surprised by the Murdoch news, and astonished by the Prescott revelations back in 2006, they still don’t beat my favourite Odd Couple. Surely the revelation that the greyest politician of all, former PM John Major, had an affair with former Conservative minister Edwina Currie still takes the biscuit?

And there is one eligible bachelor back on the market know that the silver-tongued Gary Lineker has divorced his second wife. Don’t be surprised if he has another beauty on his arm soon. Just imagine how many football matches she’d get to go to.

NOW as we have Christmas safely out of the way, it’s time for giant cardboard buckets of creme eggs to appear everywhere. But this year’s offering has been deemed a catastrophe. An unpopular new recipe has seen Cadbury’s sales plunge by a massive £10 million as the company loses five per cent of its customers.

It looks like it all comes down to cost in the end. Kraft, the owner of Cadbury, has switched from using the world-famous Cadbury Dairy Milk chocolate for the shells of the eggs to a cheaper alternative in an attempt to save money. If that’s not bad enough, they’ve cut the number of Creme eggs in a multi-pack from six to five. Now that really leaves a nasty taste.

IN Parliament, things just go from bad to worse. Former tax office head Lin Homer, who has just been awarded a gong in the new year’s honours list and is retiring on a £2 million pension, has admitted a quarter of the calls to HMRC went unanswered.

Dubbed Dame Disaster, Homer is about to put her feet up despite her scandal-hit time in Whitehall. Us mere mortals may cock things up from time to time up but we don’t come away with a big fat nest egg to keep us going in our twilight years. It’s the haves and the have nots all over again.

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Kevan Blackadder

Written by Kevan Blackadder

Kevan Blackadder is a media consultant who runs Blackadder Media Limited. Kevan was previously editor of the Gloucestershire Echo and assistant editor of the Bristol Post. A Cumbrian who moved to the South West “for a couple of years” in the 1980s, he can’t quite believe he’s been there ever since.

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