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Paws for thought

THERE are some very peculiar people about and, this week, their various goings on have been abundant on TV and in the news. First up was the documentary called the Secret Life of the Human Pups, about men who live as dogs and claim “We’re just the same as any person on the high street”. Not in my book, you’re not.

The documentary was far too sympathetic look at the world of pup play, a movement that has grown out of the BDSM community (who indulge in a variety of erotic practices involving bondage, dominance and submission and sadomasochism). It has exploded over the last few years as people connect, via the internet, with other souls who like nothing better than to dress up in a rubber dog suit, eat out of bowls and lick their ‘owners’.

In the programme we saw theatre engineer Tom (dog name Spot) take part in a Mr Puppy Europe competition – a cross (no pun intended) between Britain’s Got Talent and Crufts – in Antwerp. David (aka Bootbrush) talked to the camera in a leather dog mask, and then the film crew followed two other pups through London, who pretended to wee on lampposts to ‘raise awareness’ of their identity; and lots of grown men jumping up for ‘treats’.

One contributor Kaz said: “People automatically jump to the conclusion that this is the gear we wear to have sex. I used to get asked awful questions. But it’s certainly not about animal fetishes, and it’s not always sexual. Members of my dog pack, we just spend time at home together being dogs.”

Who are they trying to kid? And, do you think they can lick their own… oh never mind!

JUST when you thought human behaviour could not get any stranger, up pops a story on Twitter about a 20-something woman who performed a sex act on three blokes in a packed nightclub in – no, not Magaluf – but Kidderminster.

The woman was seen to perform the sex act on three blokes in the Nubu club while the crowd cheered them on. Some filmed the revellers’ antics, and of course it ended up online. One web user, David Douglas, joked about the incident, saying ‘Wow, that Nubu must be attracting an upmarket crowd’.

I steer clear of Kidderminster on account of the number of roundabouts you’ve got to negotiate just to get through it. But now I’ll have another excuse to avoid it and its hellish ring road.

THEN writer Dawn Foster asked her followers to tweet their experiences of sharing houses. The responses she received made my toes curl. It’s bad enough having to share a house when your flatmates never do their fair share of the washing up or come home absolutely hammered at 3am when your alarm is about to go off at 6.30am.

But the main theme of complaints seemed to be people’s appalling lack of basic hygiene standards, including one bloke who didn’t clean his teeth for six weeks and another who left a pair of soiled boxers soaking in a bowl in the bathroom for a week. A lot of tweets had to do with people’s useage – or lack of – the toilet. Both cans and mugs were singled out as receptacles to dash to in the night.

One Alex Burd tweeted: “10 joint-a-day paranoid stoner flooded garden & kitchen when trying to build his own paddling pool. Was training as a lawyer”.

It’s like The Young Ones writ large. I really am glad I’m too old for all that caper anymore.

 

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Kevan Blackadder

Written by Kevan Blackadder

Kevan Blackadder is a media consultant who runs Blackadder Media Limited. Kevan was previously editor of the Gloucestershire Echo and assistant editor of the Bristol Post. A Cumbrian who moved to the South West “for a couple of years” in the 1980s, he can’t quite believe he’s been there ever since.

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