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It’s tit for tat at the BBC

THE BBC is to make a new film of the literary classic, Swallows and Amazons. All good so far; but the family of the woman who inspired one of the characters are furious that the politically-correct right-on corporation has changed her name from Titty to Tatty.

The character was inspired by Titty Altounyan, who met the author of the book, Arthur Ransome, when she was a child. Her family have accused the BBC of PC-madness. Ransome based the characters on a real family, the Altounyans, one of whom, Mavis, had the nickname Titty after the children’s story Titty Mouse and Tatty Mouse.  He met the family while on holiday in the Lake District, before writing the book, which is currently being adapted and will be in cinemas near you later this year – but strictly no Titties.

Barbara Altounyan, the niece of Titty has said she is furious with the BBC for changing her aunt’s name. She said: “I know Titty is a strange name … but … changing the name is like re-writing history and it is just being done to adhere to the latest trends.” Well said, Barbara.

What next, football commentators looking back on Manchester United in the 1970s, having to call Willie (ooh, err, sounds a bit rude) Morgan – William instead?

 

REMEMBER the old days when you took a bird on a date – you know, the days before mobile ‘phones and social media. You arranged to meet her under the town clock or outside the Gaiety Cinema? Well, all that has changed for the worse in my opinion, thanks to Whatsapp.

Jimmy Hend took a woman on a date this week and told his mates, via his Whatsapp group that ‘this is going down faster than the Titanic’. His mates then egged him on via text to perform a number of tasks, which he completed and filmed.  The ‘hilarity’ that ensued after his friends encouraged him to wind up his date with a series of dares was posted online. The date herself spent most of the encounter glued to her Smartphone.

He had to ruffle her hair and take food off her fork while she was eating – and film it. Another mate also suggested he ask her if she had ever eaten one of her toe nails after cutting it. The final dare was for him to post some film of him putting his feet on the table in the restaurant – which he did.

As the pair spent the evening looking into their screens and texting their mates, it’s hardly surprising the date was a disaster. Jimmy should have just gone out for a pint with his mates and skipped the date.

Bring back missing the last bus home and having to walk some lass home miles in the cruel West Cumbrian weather, only to snatch a quick snog on the step before her dad appeared at the door in his vest and dragged her inside. Oh, the romance of my youth!

FINALLY, if you feel like your life hasn’t already been taken over by Twitter, they have made some changes so your 140-character text message will no longer have to take into account @names in replies and media attachments like GIFs,  videos and polls. These will no longer use up your valuable characters. People tell me it is a business networking tool, but I fear a lot more crap, with visuals, coming your way soon. Pip, pip for now.

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Kevan Blackadder

Written by Kevan Blackadder

Kevan Blackadder is a media consultant who runs Blackadder Media Limited. Kevan was previously editor of the Gloucestershire Echo and assistant editor of the Bristol Post. A Cumbrian who moved to the South West “for a couple of years” in the 1980s, he can’t quite believe he’s been there ever since.

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