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Drop your knickers, love. We need some nappies

IT’S BEEN a funny old week on the telly. Have you ever fantasised about what your dream job would be? If you watched Channel 4’s Sex Diaries: Webcam Couples, it could have given you a few new ideas.

Film maker Charlie Russell was dispatched to make the programme, so off he trotted to the Midlands to meet “Kitty” and “Moses”. Despite having sex in front of lots of strangers on the internet every day, they are shy about being identified in the programme so wear butterfly masks to protect their identities. During the programme Kitty and Moses tell one of their clients, who happens to be online at the time, that there is a filmmaker in the house and they are making a documentary.

Basically, their job is to charge 85p per minute to chat and to perform the client’s desired requests. Obviously the object of the exercise is to keep the client online for as long as possible. I think you get my drift. On the south coast Charlie gets to meet newlyweds, Ari and Glenn. Glenn swears his self-confidence has been given a huge boost by webcamming while having sex with his wife.

Is this the perfect job, or a great way to up your income? Imagine getting paid to shag the missus?

Towards the end of the programme it’s all gone tits up, so to speak, for Ari and Glenn. It seems the thrill of it has worn off and they have gone their separate ways. Glenn’s living in a caravan in his dad’s garden, which isn’t doing much for his self-confidence. Meanwhile Kitty has given birth to a baby, but this life-changing event doesn’t seem to have had much impact on her webcamming activities.

Moses, who maintains it is still the best job ever, said: “If we need a new buggy or extra nappies or we need a bit of extra money we can sneak on to the cam late at night. Sneak on for 15 minutes, make yourself 10 quid. There’s some extra nappies for you”.

There are some funny people out there, that’s for sure – both those having sex in public and those watching.

THE Facebook site crashed this week for a whole 40 minutes. Millions of people got an error message when they tried to log on. It follows a similar crash last week which left the world in utter meltdown.

Facebook apologised to its 1.5 billion users after the site crashed. The company even saw a four per cent dip in its share price. Many frustrated users resorted to Twitter to express their frustration at not being able to log on, but others saw the funny side. Kingston Metropolitan Police posted a humorous tweet asking Facebook users not to call them about the site failure.

Others suggested it perhaps provided an opportunity to talk to people face-to-face. Mark Greenaway tweeted #facebookdown can everyone just come and ring my doorbell to update me on what you’re doing? If I “like” it you’ll be invited in for a cuppa. Sensible fellow.

THAT high street stalwart Marks & Spencer has been left red-faced this week. They cut an inch off the zip length of their £29.50 chino trousers only to be met with a barrage of complaints from male customers who reported ‘logistical difficulties’ in going to the toilet.

One customer, Simon Astley from Rickmansworth, said he noticed the problem when his wife bought him a new pair of chinos. He said: “I’ve been wearing the same chinos for 30-odd years with no problems so who decided to make the change? Male or female? Sadly nobody seems to have considered the implications”.

M&S has taken note and normal zip length has been resumed. What a relief.

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Kevan Blackadder

Written by Kevan Blackadder

Kevan Blackadder is a media consultant who runs Blackadder Media Limited. Kevan was previously editor of the Gloucestershire Echo and assistant editor of the Bristol Post. A Cumbrian who moved to the South West “for a couple of years” in the 1980s, he can’t quite believe he’s been there ever since.

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