Coming over here, making our sandwiches…

I KNOW what you’re thinking, it’s been a while since you’ve seen anyone become truly outraged by a story in the Daily Mail. Well, today’s your lucky day. Their front page splash on the website last week was this story about MIGRANT WORKERS (you can tick that one for your scorecard for Daily Mail bingo) making sandwiches for the hard-working British public WITH THEIR BARE HANDS.


Now, sure, that’s a bit gross, but it would appear that to some people, this is the worst thing that could’ve happened to them in the world ever. People are livid that these foreign factory workers are not only ruining our job prospects, but now they have the audacity to ruin our lunches as well.

It would appear that the Daily Mail commentors are out in force with this one, as many people claim to be “DISGUSTED” and will “never buy a supermarket sandwich ever again”.

I hate to be the bearer of bad news here, and I hope this acts as a wake up call for at least one person, but WHERE DID YOU THINK YOUR SANDWICHES WERE BEING MADE?! If you were of the opinion that you could just stroll into Asda of a lunchtime and pick up a prawn mayo sandwich for £1, made up of prawns that had been ethically sourced for British waters, mixed with locally sourced mayonnaise from woodland eggs, bread that had been freshly baked just that morning and lovingly slathered with high-quality butter, made from the milk of a British cow, then you need your head examined.

If we keep buying this shit, then yes, your lunchtime sandwich is going to be mass-produced in some revolting factory somewhere. It shouldn’t matter who is putting those sandwiches together, if they’ve been for a poo and not washed their hands, it doesn’t make a difference what their ethnicity is.

Once again, British consumers aren’t realising that they are the problem. The reason all these sandwiches are produced is because we’ve become lazy. Sure, you could make your own sandwich at home, without having to wear plastic gloves, because you know fine well you didn’t urinate all over yourself the last time you went to the toilet, BUT YOU CAN’T BE ARSED.

We can’t get up in arms about this, because the root of the problem is the demand for quick and easy food solutions, so if you want this to change, buy your sandwiches from a local deli, or get the ingredients yourself on the way home from work and rustle up something ready for the next day. Don’t give yourself the excuse that you don’t have time. It takes five minutes to get some bread out and fill it with something, so next time your rolling up your sleeves to wade in with comments on the Daily Mail, think to yourself, “Perhaps I could use this time more productively and make my lunch for tomorrow.”

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Iona St Joseph

Written by Iona St Joseph

PR exec who likes finding funnies and cool stuff online. Print journalism graduate.

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