Come Play Royal Baby Bingo…

I can’t imagine anything worse than having the world know about what’s going on with my vagina. Seriously, I can’t. It’s bad enough my next door neighbour is a receptionist at my doctors surgery, without the thought of having The Guardian turn up to do a live blog on the state of my uterus.

But now Kate’s gone in to labour (you’ve heard, right?) the media have of course whipped themselves up in to a frenzy, which is good because the amount of money they’ve been hemorrhaging letting top reporters and photographers sit outside an empty hospital wing for weeks needs to be justified.

So in the spirit of our favorite The Spin Alley game – BINGO, let’s play a bit of Royal Baby Bingo. 


The rules are simple…just grab a note pad and mark down each time you hear one of the following…


You get double points for the mention of these >

Kate’s Maternity Style – because God forbid she looked ugly in the constant stream of photo’s we’ve had to endure over the last 9 months!

Diana’s Maternity Style – see above but also bare in mind it was the 80’s and NO one looked good in the 80’s.

Diana would’ve loved to have been a grandmother –  🙁 *hashtag sad face*

Charles shouldn’t be King, let’s just skip it and give the baby the top job – let’s face it, no one wants Charles to be King (except me, I like him, he talks to his tomato plants and that’s the kind of mental I like).

The Queen is delighted – you get a point for any kind of derivative of this, it’s hardly like she’s going to go in to a full foul mouthed rant about it, is it?

Full Moon brought on Kate’s labour – Seriously, The Daily Mail have already covered this and are blaming twitter users for the story. So expect lots of astronomy chat.

Prince Philip has made a rascist/un-pc/sexist comment – there has to be one.


Just one point for these:

  •  I gave birth the same day as Kate
  • Pippa Middleton
  • Carole Middleton
  • Camilla is consumed with jealousy
  • Queen Camilla, ‘early stages’, ‘middle stage’, ‘late stages
  • Royal Gynaecologist
  • Royal Box
  • Cameron congratulates
  • world’s media
  • ‘IT’S A BABY (< Del boy style)


Oh and 1/2 a point for any twitter user who says the following (half a point because you’ll see them – a lot):

“Time to switch off the radio/tv/twitter/facebook today”

“A woman having a baby, whoa, not news #angryhashtag”

“I hope Price William will announce the Royal Baby like that scene from Lion King”. 

“I’m muting the #RoyalBaby hashtag immediately because I’m such a #miserablebastard”

“Well, we’d have done away with the Monarchy by the time the baby get’s to be King/Queen so #whocares”.


So enjoy Royal Baby day and don’t forget to let us know your scores!


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Written by Rachael

As well as being Editor here at The Spin Alley, Rachael is also a freelance journalist and blogger covering lifestyle, travel, culture, entertainment, media and online life for online and print publications.

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